Motivation:

What are you reading, listening to and watching?
Everything that you choose to surround yourself with is an
influence on your behavior, so consider your lifestyle.

Whatever it is you do...motivate yourself toward excellence!
We become what we celebrate
And, what might that be?

Sex in Syracuse:

Praise and thanksgiving to God for all the good men.
The many men who love,cherish and protect their sons and daughters,
Who respect women and believe in the goodness of God.

 Today's news in Syracuse... MOLESTATION
I know this is a disgusting topic...heartbreaking, painful.
And it's the tip of the iceberg.  May other victims come forward
in schools and sporting situations to support each other.

Keep hopeful that justice will be served -
That survivors of this abuse will find healing and support from the community
Never give up.

Stopping the abuse for even one person is a gift.

Check out the resources on this blog site to become educated and report.
 

The Town Clock:

Santa Cruz, California 

When a molestation happens in a family it may not be talked about...but it is never forgotten.  And you would be surprised, maybe even shocked at the survivor's  successes in life in spite of this heinous crime perpetrated on them. They are truly survivors.

One in three girls are molested before the age of 18 and one in six boys. Now that my book is published I meet men and women who share that they were molested in childhood but they never told anyone including their mother...What do you say? Thank them for telling you. And let them know it was not their fault.

Can you imagine the size of the gathering of wounded souls- reported and unreported cases- around the town clock in our community? 

Every night on the news when there are new sexual crime reports sited it bothers the survivors and friends of the survivors.

Let us pray, Please God... help us make it STOP.

The Survivor's Healing Center can help you and there

are other resources available here on this site.

I am sorry that it happened.

                                    Emalou

The Advent Wreath: WEEK ONE

Today is the Day
This is the season of preparation for Christmas and
we look forward to celebrating the birth of Christ.

Do your children remember the Advent Calendar and
finding a piece of chocolate while opening the little flap door?

And lighting a candle each week on the Advent Wreath?
A White Christmas candle will be placed in the center and lit on Christmas morning.

We light a candle and recite a prayer at mealtimes.
If they don't remember...it's never too late to start a new tradition!

                                 I want to be ready and I'm waiting in anticipation.

Every Day is for Thanks-giving:

 A Thanksgiving Prayer
Oh, God, when I have food,
help me to remember the hungry;
When I have work, help me
to remember the jobless;
When I have a warm home,
Help me to remember the homeless;
When I am without pain,
Help me to  remember those who suffer'
And remembering, help me
to destroy my complacency
and bestir my compassion.
Make me concerned enough to help,
by word and deed, those who cry out for what we take for granted
                                                                                   Samuel F. Pugh

Ps. Thanksgiving prayers are said every day not just on "Thanksgiving." Stay in gratitude and thank God for what you are about to receive...as if it has already been granted. Amen

Black Friday:

Coming out soon at your cyberspace store in paperback!
Most people know that the day after Thanksgiving is called Black Friday
The reason is because this is the day that businesses hopefully come out of the red!
It has also been deemed a day to talk to your family.We are all together for the holiday so let's spend time together talking, hanging out with "eye to eye" time.
meaning put down  the distracting electronic devices.
Look up.  Open up. Don't shut up...Break the Silence!

Happy Thanksgiving 2011:

Thanksgiving to our God!

We thank thee God for food we eat,

For families and friends we meet,

For books we read and songs we sing,

We thank thee God for... HERBIE KING!

Herbie King ~ age 6 ~ Shih Tzu

How to Make Changes:

     Get Serious About Making a Change if necessary but remember... if you do what you did, you'll get what you got.
     To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. So go for it.                                               
     What to change...Get a jump on your resolution and/or  wait until the stroke of midnight on 12/31/11 and start with new beginnings in 2012. I have to think about it in advance so I'm thinking about it now.

Uncover, Discover, Recover:

                This picture is fun but phony so don't believe what you see here.




 I didn't look into a crystal ball or have my fortune told before I disclosed.
I knew that someday I would write this story. I didn't know exactly when it would happen but
I believe that people need to know more...about the perpetrators and the victims and survivors.                     

I relied on12 step programs and attended many meetings in the 70's using a sponsor when it happened
and years later I had the support of a writing group with Ellen Bass who wrote
"The Courage to Heal," with Laura Davis.  

Do you know the powerful Serenity prayer?
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference. 


My faith in God and attending Mass pulled me through the trauma that happened under my roof and
again the reliving of it while writing it,  first in present tense and then in past tense.


One has to cope even one hour at a time on bad days
once you uncover something and discover something else
 the recovery is really up to you to do...
You are  not alone so don't try and do this solo.Get Help!


“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
Maya Angelou

          

Excerpt from A Memoir:

2009

"...I drifted off with clips of that nightmare running on the inside of my eyelids ... I remembered the smell of his breath, the tone of his voice and his piercing stare. Out of habit, I scanned the obits for his name and finished my coffee."
                                                                                         (excerpt from Under My Roof)

I couldn't possibly pretend to understand the depths of a perpetrator and most of us can't.
They gain the parents trust, continue using 'grooming' techniques and begin their molesting.
They are never in a hurry, they have patience and perseverance.


Learn more when you  read, Under My Roof ~ A Mother's Story of the Heinous Crime of Incest

                                          

Calling All Mothers:

It's not the same today in 2011 as it was in the 70's, 80's, or 90's. Do you remember what it used to be like? If not this is a peek of the past.
Nurses wore white uniforms, white shoes, white hose and a nursing cap with a black velvet stripe to signify she was an RN.  There was no perfume, make up, nail polish or jewelry worn.  They were proud of their school pin and class logo. Scrubs worn outside of an operating room were forbidden. Today it's different. Sometimes it's even hard to tell who is the nurse in the setting. Nurses are fragmented and specialized. It they united this group would be tremendously powerful to change laws.

What hasn't changed is our handle on sexual molestation of girls and boys under the age of 18. We are still unable to protect them from perpetrators. We know more but it seems like the topic is so vile that we are unable to have discussions. Each one of the victims has a mother and mothers...when we get together we are powerful! I am talking to the ones who did not offend their child. We can ban together, make a difference and change the thinking.  If you are the mother of a survivor, I am looking for you. It you are a mother who wants to become involved, you are also welcome.

 If you want to help the survivors. Purchase "Under My Roof..." and you are doing just that. The profits from this book are given to support programs.

Food for Thought:

No one escapes having trauma in their life and everyone has a talent.
You may not recognize either of them until you are conscious.
Heal your wound and find your gift.


This is Thanksgiving week. There are a couple of different meanings for STUFFING
You know what I mean
So Focus on the real stuff that matters... like what is most important.

Tell your story
 It is in sharing our own "experience, strength and Hope"
(taken from the 12 step programs) that we not only help ourselves but others too.


I watched  a 2 hour "The Practice" last night on TV and they had an intervention story
which was very powerful,  informative and well done.
 I share an intervention story in my book.

Hope you get a chance to read it.

                                       

Keep the Faith:

It is important to look for little miracles from God who is so present in our every day lives.
I found one!  No, I'm not old and silly.  I took this old rubber band off a package of note cards
and envelopes and tossed it on my desk.  When I looked down the rubber band
formed a heart. Even when touched it returned to this shape.

 Thank You, God...I love you back!!!

We Need Law and Order: SVU

We are saturated with stories of sexual abuse...
"It was midnight in my hell and without realizing it, I destroyed all the evidence!"
Read about a tragedy and triumphant journey within this family.

Did you watch Law and Order SVU?
The last line was the most powerful one...
"You have survived the abuse...you will survive the recovery."
Books can change lives and my publisher is happy to announce
 the  paperback version will be coming out soon!

Break The Silence:

This is happening in your town, USA
No one is talking about it... only you can break the silence.
This is a chance to make things right... so make that phone call for HELP.
Now is the time...like Nike says, Go For It!

Rock Center Rocks:

If you watched Rock Center tonight then you heard  that  SANDUSKY has 40 counts against him and he said:
" I'm innocent of those charges."  And then he adds...
"I have done some of those things-showered, hugs, touched their leg without
any intent of sexual  content. There are things that would be accurate."

His LAWYER said they expect a number of the kids to come forward and say that it never occurred.

I heard earlier on a report that his daughter in law would not leave her children at the house with him.

He denies being a pedophile but adds that he loves being around young boys!

The request from Sandusky was "hang on until my attorney can fight for my innocence."

  KEEP THIS IN THE NEWS UNTIL WE ARE SO FED UP WITH CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE THAT IT IS NO LONGER TOLERATED AT ALL BY ANY ONE ANY WHERE.
NO ONE DID ENOUGH...
THIS IS A BEGINNING!

Mothers Reported Penn State Abuse:

      Today (November 14) I still think and write about self care around the shame and betrayal from people who were thought to be trustworthy at Penn State. Molestation is a crime of violence and power. I applaud the reporting made by the mothers to protect their children. I have written about my own attempts in discovery and protection.Penn State is another example of how it doesn't always work.                                  
     One of the best methods of self care for a mother's deep grief  is first to recognize it, drink more water to prevent dehydration, take about 20 minutes every day to be sad and angry and then go back to your normal routine. Don't dwell on it. Don't isolate, make a gratitude list. Be grateful for the basics of food, clothing and shelter, for good health and all the other positives in your life. Read it out loud...add one more thing...and one more thing...and one more thing! I prayed often. I had a sponsor, one person I talked to frequently and received the love and support I needed to get through this traumatic experience. Eventually you get a scab.

Blessings to Survivors of Sexual Molestation:

"Parents, teenagers, teachers, clergy, counselors and people in  law enforcement would surely benefit from reading this book. Conversational in style, Under My Roof gets under the skin as well as startling and moving the heart. I found this story gripping and the book difficult to put down. I hope and pray Under My Roof has a wide readership."
Excerpt from the foreword by Fr.Patrick Dooling. Proceeds from the sale of this E book memoir benefits programs.
                                                                

Mothers of Survivors:

I swore I'd write for class this week but instead I bought a treadmill!  I had too much to say and really didn't know how to write about the sexual abuse from Penn State.  It was like picking the scab off an old wound.  Anyone with  trauma was traumatized all over again. Many of us cried about this.

Then I thought about tattle-tales. Children are told not to do it but adults?? We need to tattle. We need to speak out and fight for our kids. It was the mothers who came forward...who tattled. Thank you.

These crimes remind me of when I spilled India Ink on my chenille bedspread in the eighth grade. I had to look at it each day and it was in such a place that I couldn't flip it around or throw a pillow over it. It was in my face. This huge sexual stain is in our face and there will be consequences and much discovery.

 My prayers for healing and support go to the survivors and mother's of  survivors and their family.

11-11-11:

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America
And to the Republic for which it stands,
One Nation... Under God... Indivisible...
With Liberty and Justice for All.

God Bless all the living and deceased vets and wounded warriors
who have preserved our freedom.

I'm proud to be an American!

GOD BLESS AMERICA


Thank you!

Joe Paterno Fired:

When sexual abuse happens it is disgusting, sad,
painful, gut-wrenching, terrible, hellish, horrible, heinous,
tormenting, shameful, and a crime of violence and power.
The impact is not only on the family but the neighbors, school,
community, city, state and country. We are ALL affected.

The one right thing done so far was to fire Joe Paterno. And let us not forget the perpetrator!
How are you taking care of yourself around the exposure?
Trust has been shattered.  We have been betrayed.
May God have mercy on anyone who abuses a child.
We all need prayers. Let's pray for each other .


I  needed a little breather today
so sea shells it is! 

Emergency Alert System:

ATTENTION...

November 9, 2011... the Emergency Alert System.

You will hear that sound for a full 60 seconds on the West Coast at 11 am.
Then your station will return to it's regular programming.
Now think about this...

Every night there have been Emergency Alert System Molestation Stories about Herman Cain, Jerry Sandusky and it's ironic the Prime Minister of Italy is stepping down.
*
Can you even imagine the noise if every child set off an alarm when molested?
It would be every hour and every minute of the day and night.

*

Sometimes I think all adults should have to wear name tags. Not the kids!
Adults need to be accountable. Remember the ad long ago where it was suggested that you sign your work.
*
If you have been molested tell someone. Even if it has been years ago. Talk about it with someone.
Tell your mother if she is not the offender...moms broke the story at Penn State.

*
Please Help Break The Silence!

Sexual Abuse Awareness:

                                                          Don't Do This!!!

     When someone important is  the sexual perpetrator it helps raise the awareness. Pay attention how often it  happens. Cheers for MEDIA attention for a few nights. Today it's Sandusky. a coach at a University who worked with children and got away with it for several years. Next, Herman Cain, a political figure who denies it when 4 women have come forward.  Remember the stats are one in three girls and one in six boys. Horrible numbers to consider. These victims are devastated by this crime of violence and power. Don't take it lightly. Please Help prevent it.

Don't sweep it under the rug.
Don't change the channels.
Don't pretend it didn't happen.

Get disgusted. Protect your children. Talk about it. Pray for an end to sexual abuse and help for the survivors.
Again, the proceeds from the sale of my book will go to support programs that help the family.

The Key to Failure:

There is a key to happiness we must all find
But the key to failure is trying to please everyone!

                                                   Writing prompt: I remember when

                                              I had to take the keys away...

A Poem:

 Sometimes When I Cannot Sleep

   

My thoughts wander to my childhood   where   awake in my twin bed

I watched headlights arch across the ceiling     

When I couldn’t sleep   I peered out the window  counted each car   and yearned

Without knowing the meaning of the word   for someone or something else   

  

Standing bare foot in pajamas  matching the pink flowers on the wallpaper 

I turned the diamond knob of my closet door and climbed over the shoes

I read “The Happy Hollister’s”   and wrote the date on the wall with a pencil

Only a crack of light beneath the door gleamed off the hardwood floor

Wrapped in my grandmother’s turquoise chenille robe

I leaned against the yellow walls that were warm like the sides of an oven after baking

Molly my best doll   stared   open eyed  

A shoe box from my mother’s velvet heels   held my miniature treasures  

A bracelet with jewels like candied almonds   a string of crystal rosary beads and

A purple bug pin I made from a seashell at Brownie scouts.

I could hear the musical voices of the women in my family at the kitchen table

They were laughing   the playing cards   clicked and slapped on the grey Formica top

I knew how much they all loved me    but now    it’s much too quiet and I cannot sleep       

I am the oldest woman in the family    I sit at that table   alone   playing solitaire.   

  

  Emalou King

October 6,  2011  

Fall Back Time:

Don't forget to set you clocks back tonight before you go to bed.For some of us it will feel like we are "normal" again,
But for others it won't make any difference at all.
The sun provides more light in the morning,  but late afternoon becomes dark early.
If your kids stay after school keep them safe when they walk home.

Does this time change affect you? How so?
We invented the clock, wear watches and
see time on our cell phones, in our cars, on radios, television and on the Bank.

A suggestion...

It's a good thing if we create more time to pray using these cues;
When you hear a siren, drive by a hospital  or pass a church,
 fold laundry, weed the garden, wash dishes, etc.

 No matter what time it is...
You don't really know when your time will come.

Be Prepared!

Think First:

What Depletes Your Soul?:

What Depletes Your Soul?
Other people...the draining kind?
Busyness...can't seem to say, "no?"
Lack of privacy...no me time or me space?
Conflict...like to argue only to win?
Irritations...can't shake anything off ?
Finances...spending without having money?
Coveting...I want, I want, I want?

Take an R&R
(Rest and Reflect on God)

You know that means to get more SLEEP!

Day of the Dead: All Souls Day

Today we remember all those who have gone before us.
I can remember starting that list in the back of my missal back in the 60's.
I thought it was a lot when I reached 12 people.
Today my list contains the names of 81 deceased...starting with family, friends,
classmates, clients, colleagues, neighbors, and people in my parish.


May all the Souls of the faithful departed rest in peace, Amen

Feast of All Saints is November 1:

Beautiful St. Teresa of Avila
Pray for Us

It is the Feast of All Saints
A holy Day of Obligation for Catholics.
I have a long list of favorites-
people who have led by example
who have a deep love for Christ
and intervene for us when we ask.
*
I know that isn't everyone's belief
But I consider myself  quite blessed to have it.
*

I pray,  "Oh great Saint whose name I bear
pray for me and protect me - so that like you,
I may serve Him faithfully in this world
And joyfully in the next...Amen"
*

What  belief do you share with your children?
We all have a responsibility to pass on our belief.